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March 2006

Last night while in Houston, I had some time to spare, so I headed out to Grandma’s on Fannin, better known to the general public as The Club. Call it what you want (a bathhouse, sauna, spa, gym, whorehouse, slutville), but make no mistake: This place was hopping on a Tuesday night and the boys of Houston came out to play.

Well, this is what happens with pair of Grandmas…

And this is what happens AT Grandmas…

A good mix of young, old, muscled and skinny, The Club’s recent remodel makes it an ideal bath if you’re wanting squeaky-clean fun and top-notch facilities. While the place itself is lit and designed for working up a sweat, it didn’t seem like the staff encouraged anything remotely public in terms of sex. ‘Take it back to your room’ seemed to be the motto there. Take note if you’re public performer, as this place may need a little jump-start due to people doing quite a bit of cruising and not a lot of much else.

Spotted a beautiful white guy, about 25yo, 5’10”, well-defined body of lean sinewy cuts showing off his hard work at the gym. He was wearing a pair of Abercrombie camo cargo shorts, slung low to show off his impressive ‘Gideon’s Belt’ muscles that tapered down into his crotch from his hips and had a nice sheen of sweat coming from a fresh workout in the gym downstairs. He coyly wrapped his shorts tight around his then-growing bulge, making it crystal-clear that this guy was either related to Mister Ed or he had just robbed a produce market.

We made eye contact. He said hey. We smiled. That was it.

See, normally this would have been an instant indicator of him soon ending up on his back, legs in the air, while I gave him a body cavity search. Such wasn’t the case this time. While the thought of sex sounded nice in theory, I was much too occupied with watching Headline News on the above television monitors. What can I say… If Condi Rice and her crazy freckles are on the air, I’m hooked (so to speak).

Condi! You said you’d never speak about our night together…

The rest of the evening was slow. Didn’t hook up. Didn’t really want to. Headed down to the gym and got an hour workout, talked shop with another lifter who gave some good advice for gaining muscle in my shoulders and ended up jerking off to some decent porn in my room. Needless to say, the thought of anonymous sex just isn’t a turn on anymore (albeit, always safe). I’m content knowing who and what I’m sleeping with. A dangerous habit better broken now when i’m young, disease-free and happy, then a bad lesson learned later in life i suppose.

Ain’t that the truth!

Hotel Icon/Houston TX

Lodging FYI: Hotel Icon in downtown Houston is fantastic. They didn’t mess too much with the original bank building’s they took over and the rooms are spacious at a good rate. I particularly enjoyed the Molton and Brown bath products with major kudos going to the hotel for putting FULL SIZE bottles (shampoo/conditioner/bodywash) in the massive glassed-in showers. Very shagadelic.

I caught a showing of Crash at an Angelika the other night (it’s the second time I’ve seen this film) and liked it even better the second time. I can now say with total honesty that I found it to be a much stronger movie with a more lingering social message than Brokeback Mountain. I find the whole backlash of Brokeback not winning the Oscar a little silly, with groups of gay men taking independent ads out in the Hollywood trade papers to moan over the loss.

Kids, it’s just a movie… A movie with a theme that’s been done before and, honestly, done better. We’re not putting Brokeback in the same category as Orwell’s 1984 or Shakespeare’s Richard III, are we? Just as I don’t enjoy when TNT calls the movies they show ‘new classics,’ I’m still unable to see why Brokeback is garnering so much applause as a movie for the ages. Crash, while overdoing it a little bit on script, elicited a much stronger reaction across the board with its audience.

Recent interviews with Brokeback author Annie Proulx paint her as a jilted, bitter gal with something spited to say to everyone who went away winners at the Academy Awards. Using an utterly brilliant play on words, she called renamed Crash to Trash and proceeded to verbally bash the producers and director of the film. Real class Annie. I bet your barista friends down at the local Starbucks really were impressed by those quotes you gave to the Guardian. You’re a real hero now, aren’t you?

Stylish AND bitter all at the same time. Very impressive.

Isn’t it ironic that a woman who writes a story that she says was partially intended to promote tolerance comes out with statements like this? Pot. Kettle. Black.


Anyway: I’ve got a dilemma. Maybe a few thousand of you out there can help me out, but since it’s on my mind, it’s most likely on the blog. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned a blind item about a West Coast escort who’s only telling his clients about his HIV+ status AFTER the meeting is over. Adding insult to injury, he’s initially saying he’s 100% clean.

This isn’t only wrong. It’s fucking dangerous.

I was going to let it drop, as this seemed like an isolated incident only involving one person. Not more than 2 days ago, I received an email from a friend in LA who had also recently seen this escort-in-question and, again, the escort pulled the same shtick. Said he was clean up-front and then ‘forgot to mention’ that he was positive after they’d already fucked around.
trong>Now I’m just pissed off. I don’t want this guy to hurt anyone with his obvious irresponsible behavior, but at the same time I’m not sure if it’s my place to be the thought police here. I have no issue with escorts wanting to bareback in their private or professional lives, but simply be honest about your health status and up-front from the beginning. It’s not my place to moralize about what someone CHOOSES to do. It is, however, my place to be concerned when some shithead escort is knowingly spreading life-threatening disease to both people I know and don’t know.
Up front, i will say that this escort is neither the recently retired Bobby Thompson or the very active (and very sexy from what i’ve heard) Scott Adler. Yes, both are well-known West Coasters, but Thompson & Adler have a stellar reputation for both fun AND safety.Advice is always appreciated. Email me if you’ve got something to say, for or against.

And now a quick word from CELEBS WHO HAVE BAD PLASTIC SURGERY…

Yes, this is Sharon Stone. Amazing what US Weekly and some decent Photoshopping can do to make a celeb appear refreshed.

Not you too Christina I’m-a-Gorilla! Say it ain’t so…

Vivica A. Fox and her blotched boob job you ask? Yep, we’ve got the pics. Notice the pancake makeup sloppily covering the surgery incision…

Britney Spears’s hunky ex-hubby, Jason Alexander, has found a home on MySpace! Click HERE for his profile. From the looks of it, you can also access Shar Jackson’s (aka, K-Fed’s Baby Mama) MySpace page as well from his friends list. All of this D-List celeb mentioning is making my head hurt. Here’s hoping for some kind of insane blunder from Julia Roberts’s opening week in Three Days of Rain on Broadway.

Hey, maybe she’ll improv a diabetic attack like the one she had in Steel Magnolias. Now that would be well worth the steep ticket price to see Roberts blathering around the stage like a shorted-out janitorial floor buffer. Forget Broderick and Lane in The Odd Couple down the street… Come watch Julia Roberts flail about the stage for a couple of hours.

Former Boston escort Jason Tyler is now doing bareback videos with Joey Milano and Drew Peters for SX Video Productions. ‘Dungeon’ will be his first bb release, which leaves many to wonder why he made the leap from escorting to Falcon to now barebacking. Potential wasted? I always thought he was one of the hottest rentguys out there. He’s still very much a prettyboy and surely will find an audience with this new venture.

THIS JUST IN… Breaking news from the anger-managment world of Supermodel-dom. Seems that just hours ago, Naomi Campbell was arrested for assault against her maid. The maid is currently recouping at Lennox Hill Hospital. Campbell on the other hand is chilling at the 33rd precinct. BOOK HER DANO! I suggest a body cavity search. Don’t stop till’ ya hit the back of her teeth…

Well, since my housecat (pictured above) is now giving me the ‘your-lap-looks-good-enough-to-eat’ look, I suppose it’s time to wrap things up with this week’s EC.

EYE CANDY for this week is the usual suspects. Enjoy as always:


‘Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.’ —- Bill Maher