This is me pre-Thanksgiving 2005 B.G. (or, ‘Before Gorging’)

They’re coming for you Barbara!

I know it’s a matter of secure national importance, but I’m going to discuss it anyway: I finally did the unthinkable and watched the first season of ‘Desperate Housewives.’ While it wasn’t anything like what I had expected, I can see why people go apeshit over the show. It’s saccharin-sweet, campy as hell and I half-expected to see John Water’s name in the directing/producing credits. It’s also unbelievably addictive.

It’s nice to see women in their advancing years throw caution to the wind by letting a camera zoom wildly on their improperly done plastic surgery. ‘Housewives’ can best be described as a mix of Dynasty, Stepford and any family reunion you’ve been to in the past 20 years: It’s dramatic, but much like a train wreck, you can’t talk your eyes off of it.

I forsee a plastic surgery deathmatch against Terri Hatcher and Nicole Kidman for the title of ‘Hollywood’s Worst Eye Lift.’ Let the games begin.

Recently, I was in the Princeton (NJ) area and realized that Mother Nature plays a cruel trick on Southerners by excluding a real fall from the agenda. What a heartless bitch, eh?

Autumn is now here and the trees were beautiful shades of yellow, gold, crimson and brown. While San Antonio’s trees just drop their leaves like a middle-aged flasher at a football game, Princeton was a postcard on every corner. Aside from the Ivy League atmosphere, it was a real pleasure to be surrounded by such natural beauty.

… and yes, I do realize that once you begin talking about flowers and fall foliage that you’re officially deemed a ‘fogie’ and unfit for anything but Brooks Brothers suits.

Caught George Clooney’s newest film ‘Goodnight and Goodluck’ last night (based on the Ed Murrow/Joe McCarthy hub-bub). GREAT script. A little on the wordy side, but the actors fare more than well with what they’re given. While I wouldn’t recommend this flick for those who don’t have a liking for black & white, monologue-driven movies, I do think it’s a nice history lesson in terms of how the news media shapes different events, for both good and evil purposes.

Hoo-HAH!

Who gives a flip if Sam Mendes’s new film ‘Jarhead’ is Oscar material? It’s got the very shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal (and very muscular I might add). I’m petitioning the Academy to add a ‘Best Chest’ category this year due to Jake’s performance. I think it would really open doors for the young actor to take additional roles that require him to walk around without a top. A star is born… Shirtless.

Las Vegas travelers be on alert: Paris’s year old musical production of ‘We Will Rock You’ is closing the doors on the schlockfest later this month and replacing it with… You guessed it…. The Price is Right LIVE!

*jaw drops* My dreams have finally come true. Be still my beating heart.

Get ready to help control the pet population live and in-person on America’s longest running game show. My only questions include: one, is Bob Barker transferring from California to host this new incarnation and two, if he doesn’t, will his second-in-command be basted as orange as the original host? Who’s got George Hamilton’s cell number?

Home Depot presents their newest paint line based on George Hamilton: Burnt Ember.

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a whackoff of the week site, so here’s the newest entry in a very long line of hot FREE sites. A big BAHHH! (And thanks) to the guy who sent in the link. Such wonderful pictures and so very little time…

http://cockysurfthump.textamerica.com/

I was also sent this link from another unnamed source. If you like ‘the ass’ then consider this site your Holy Grail. 30 pages of bare-bottom. You’ve been warned!

http://someguysbutt.textamerica.com/?qs=xdefault&page;=0

Ever notice how much Joan Crawford (aka, Faye Dunaway) and Michael Jackson are starting to look alike?

Don’t believe me?… Check this out:

No… more… plastic… noses!

This week’s collection of Eye Candy is the hottest on the web, so sit back for a whack-attack and enjoy. Muscles, muscles everywhere and not a twink to think.

~bn

“Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality” — Oscar Wilde