True sexual confidence means always knowing that when push comes to fuck, you’re going to deliver.
I’m bad with math, but as a 90% top guy, it’s not just my job, but my pleasure, to make sure a bottom dude knows how much I enjoy having my dick in him. There’s a certain swagger that comes with knowing how a bottom looks at me… Not just as a slab of muscle, but as a guy who can control the whole situation, beginning to end. For me, it’s always sexy knowing I can deliver what he ultimately wants, but also everything that leads up to that. It’s sexual theatre.
In coming to accept a lot of my own personal turn-ons, I readily admit that I like that guys see me as a sexual conquest: A tall, masculine piece of muscle who readily deposits his load(s) in a willing hole. I can go from discussing Proust to pounding ass in ten seconds flat. That’s just me.
It’s a very specific skill set. You can’t teach these things to a liberal arts major.
A regular client that I see has helped me play into (and very much enjoy) a hypermasculine, super verbal, dominant side to my normally cool-as-a-cucumber personality. From the time we hit his front door, he wants to be manhandled and fucked in every position possible. I tell him what I want him to wear, how he’s going to strip it off, where I want his mouth, his ass, his feet. He makes sure he’s shower fresh and cleaned out. I know I can pound him out hard… I know it’s what he wants.
He gets off on watching me flex while I’m fucking him.
Truth… I get off on it too. I work hard for this body and always appreciate when guys like what they see and feel.
What’s most fun about the sex is that it’s comfortable, familiar, fun, sweaty, sexy. It’s not scripted. So much of what happens through Grindr hookups have ended up disappointments because a ton of younger guys have zero talent for fucking and have multiple social-anxiety issues preventing them from just enjoying the moment. Then you have the guys who want to monetize everything to do with sex (ie, the OnlyFans syndrome), which ruins them mentally. It’s why I always tell people that if you can find someone you have great sex with, hang onto them. It’s rare and it’s awesome.
I just spent a week in CDMX (Mexico City, ya’ll) and it felt as if things were returning to some kind of normal: While the 11pm curfew was still in place, restaurants, shopping and culture seemed to be humming along. Museums were going. Grindr was grinding. I ended up shacking up in Polanco, enjoying the extremely livable neighborhood, the wide span of cuisine and the easy access to the only Barry’s Bootcamp in Mexico. The client I was with came prepared with some awesome suggestions on spots to hit, many of which were new to me. While I love the city (and have been over a dozen times), it’s always nice to be reminded that there’s still so much I haven’t seen and done.
One of the highlights was finding a custom fragrance shop called Xinu, tucked away on a quiet side street in Polanco. They produce small-batch scents for people and homes. Everything from the actual scent to how it’s bottled is carefully considered and the showroom makes for a nice education on how precise the art of perfume can really be. I ended up with a couple scents and a candle. The whole place looks a bit like a mad scientist’s workshop. They also just started to ship to the States. Check them out if, like me, you’re tired of smelling every single man (over) wearing Le Labo’s Santal 33 (which has basically become the new overpriced version of Cool Water).
Barry’s was nice to get back into. For those who haven’t taken the class, it calls itself the most challenging workouts out there and while I don’t entirely disagree, if you’re a natural runner, it’s not that bad. It’s a combination of sprinting and light weights with max reps. 55 minute class. Loud as fuck music. Instructors are instructed to yell and scream at you if you’re not busting ass. It’s actually fun if you make it competitive with yourself. I tend to ignore the people around me anyway.
Back in the day, Barry himself used to teach this class, out of his first and only studio in West Hollywood. He was this short, somewhat stocky gay bear, but he had a mouth on him that could stop a Mack truck. He was loud. He was mean. And… He got results.
He reminds me of what Richard Simmons might have been like if he went off his meds.
My favorite story about doing Barry’s with Barry was when one of the Spice Girls was visiting LA and did a drop-in class. I don’t know what she was expecting, but in LA, celebrity culture isn’t fawned over because they’re everywhere. She didn’t come to class ready to sweat and when she was told to sprint on the treadmill, she basically jogged and made funny faces. Barry wasn’t having that. What he did next was awesome.
‘GET YOUR SPICY LITTLE RED ASS ON THAT FUCKING TREAD AND SWEAT BITCH,’ he yelled into the mic.
She looked shocked, but didn’t speed up.
‘OH… OKAY. WELL, THEN IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO SPRINT, RUN YOUR FAT ASS DOWN TO PINKDOT AND GET ME A SMOOTHIE.’
I’m not sure if he ever got that smoothie, but she immediately left class and we didn’t see Ginger Spice again.
Barry’s Mexico City was set up a lot like their Dallas location. One big studio, large locker rooms, smoothie bar, nice design, clean. The fun perk about doing classes there is that they have no strict policy on shirts, so if you’d rather do class wearing less, you can. Sure, some of it is an ego thing, but it’s nice now and then to see how you stack up to the class of strangers around you. Whether you’re in prime shape or just starting off, it’s about your level of comfort… And if that includes stripping off your shirt while you exercise, I’m here for it. You do you. Just make sure you give it 110%.
After CDMX, I flew directly to NYC, spending most of my time in Forest Hills (a place I’ve grown to really love). It’s so incredibly livable, walkable and everything you could ever possibly need is usually within a 4-block radius. Train to the city in 25 minutes. Ben’s Deli in Baytown, 15 minutes. Costco just down the street.
Heading to Tampa, St Pete and Clearwater this coming week, then out to the Baja coast and spending a few days surfing in La Paz. I’m also hoping to get back to the Texas coastline with a week in Port Aransas, but that won’t be until mid-July. Cities are opening back up, but sleepy beach towns are definitely where I’m headed for most of this summer. Once the UK opens back up for travel and Asia gets things under control, I plan on spending a lot of time in the air, getting to the trips that were put on hold when the world went to hell. I have enough current credit on American Airlines to fly around the world several times over. Gotta get those miles.
As always, you can keep current on my pics through Twitter and my photo galleries. I update both on a regular basis, as well as getting through all of the interesting (and somewhat X-rated) questions that are asked on my ASKfm feed. If you want to ask me something scandalous, that’s the place.
Stay safe ya’ll. Get vaccinated. Get out there,