In my world, genuine attraction to a wide variety of men is a strength and has served me well as someone who not only enjoys every aspect of sex, but also as the guy you could take home to mom and not be embarrassed by him. Basically, I’m the all-American guy-next-door who can flip a switch, rip off his clothes and fuck like the ship is going down. Part of me thought that by now I’d be tired of this life, but surprisingly, it’s like my 30s have reinvigorated not only my attitude, but my sex drive as well.
I can’t quite explain it, but I’m not complaining.
I also think a lot of this ‘new/old me’ is due to making a concerted effort to eat healthy, get quality sleep, work with a really experienced trainer and take the opportunity to say ‘no’ when I should. Early on, I was never very good at turning down trips, leading me to travel 25 days a month… I gotta say, it was tough at times. I had stress. I had no home life. Making new friends and keeping existing ones was becoming a problem. The easiest thing in the world to say was also the hardest for me: If I had open time in my schedule, I’d automatically say yes, even if that meant overnights in London, weekends in Zurich and never really getting to fully experience the cities I was visiting.
My life was a lot of tiny moving pieces with very little appreciation for how to finish the puzzle. I’m always thankful for what I’ve experienced, but happier that I eventually figured out how to manage all of it.
Taking the time to slow down and appreciate the things in your life that make you a happier person is incredibly important. I was reminded of this a couple of weeks ago when seeing a guy visiting Dallas who’s always been clear in his needs (me- a muscle jock- fucking him, hard) and he’s always perfectly prepared for the experience. He always ends up on his back, his feet on my chest (turns me on), my hands behind my head (he’s into hairy ginger armpits), pounding him on the edge of a bed. Never having to worry about his hole being anything but spotless makes it easier for me to just let go and give him exactly what he wants… Universally ending up with me being the verbal, jock top, telling him how hard I’m going to continue fucking him, etc, until I can see he’s ready for my load.
Watching someone want that from you, in the most male, primal way, is a powerful thing. It’s incredibly sexy. It’s simple, but it makes me happy that I can be that guy.
Like I said earlier, it’s empowering how I feel more sexually more confident now than I did in my twenties. I chalk it up to trial & error experience, figuring out what really turns me on, working my body into something I can truly be proud of and feeling comfortable showing it off. More than actually having an orgasm and shooting a load, the biggest turn on for me is just being shirtless (or naked) around a group of guys who appreciate it. It’s a big component of why I hit K-spas more frequently than a traditional gay bath house: I’m 100% comfortable walking around naked, soaping up and soaking without the added complication of fucking or getting off. I know that there’s a contingent of other guys in there who are checking me out… And that turns me on. Look-but-don’t-touch. It’s keeping that line in the sand that makes the sexual tension so much fun. Sexual mental edging.
Bottom line is that I won’t look like this forever no matter how hard I work at it, but as long as I do, why the hell shouldn’t I enjoy it?
I recently spent a full week in Orlando: I say this more as a blunt confession.
Orlando is a strange city. It’s got a very tucked-away gay community, odd considering how many LGBT-friendly Disney cast members there. I’ve always felt it was a bland suburban wasteland with no cultural heat- no real flavor- and a painted-on, plastic theme park friendliness. Much like Las Vegas, it’s a city that works very hard for their tourists, but leaves little else for the locals. While I’d like to say that this last visit changed all of that, sadly, spending time at Disney’s Golden Oak development made this divide even more black & white. When you’re shelling out minimum $1.5 million for a house with Disney, you better believe the mouse is going to swallow.
Security was Fort Knox tight: One guard gate (armed), three automated neighborhood gates and what I imagine is a staggering monthly landscaping budget, Golden Oak’s homes are custom-built fortresses, designed by Disney’s Imagineers and completely change the theme park experience if you’re fortunate enough to own one (or be invited). Within the neighborhood is a private club for homeowners, offering two restaurants and a great late-night bar. The clubhouse also has concierge staff to help assist with park planning, VIP tours and reservations to any of the new Club 33 locations within Disneyworld.
The development includes a Four Seasons hotel, as well as a small enclave of villas branded under the Four Seasons name. Pricing begins at $2.5 million.
While I was there, it felt like 90% of the homes were unoccupied, not surprising considering a lot of residents are using these as their second or third vacation homes. In making the daily trek into the parks, Golden Oak arranged for us to be picked up in front of the house in a private Disney SUV by a VIP guide who’s job was to make sure the day flowed magically from one attraction to another. No lines. No waiting. Every reservation available at any time we wanted. It was the way I imagine Mariah Carey would do Disney if she could still be trusted around large crowds of people without needing prescription medication.
I’ve done the original Club 33 in Anaheim a few times, but never really understood why it was such a big deal. Having to wear chinos to a theme park is not my idea of a good time and the dress code for dining at the original is pretty black & white. Orlando’s 4 new 33 clubs are more like very small, themed airline lounges. No dress code for Orlando. They’re good spots to stop for a cocktail and have some adult time when you’re in the parks, but there’s nothing special about the experience. As 33 remains one of the toughest memberships to buy into, the mystery surrounding the club is enough to keep people very interested in it.
Doing Disney, even through the backdoor, is still work. The days of an off-season to doing Orlando parks has long since gone away. Disney has smartly (and successfully) spread out a ton of new events, attracting people from all corners of the globe and keeping the parks jam-packed, all of the time. Case in point: The line for the two major Pandora attractions at Animal Kingdom was pushing 5 hours on the morning we were there.
No joke. People were seriously going to wait for 5 hours to ride a 2 minute ride… And since this was Disney, the chances of there being a nearby passing-the-time cocktail were slim to none. I can imagine that during the hot, humid Orlando summer, that wildly snaking line begins to take on a kind of Lord of the Flies vibe.
We did spend a night out at Parliament House, Orlando’s larger version of what Island House is to Key West. However, unlike Island, Parliament is really just a rundown old motel that’s had several gay bar spaces built into it and looks a little long-in-the-tooth. Strike two, it’s also in a pretty shitty area of town. Strike three, the bartender ‘lost’ my Amex and later that night after leaving the bar, the card was magically racking up charges on Amazon and for Disney park tickets. Cancelled the card and no real harm done, but it bummed me out that people pull this kind of despicable shit. It put a little damper on Orlando for me. I was happy to leave.
From Orlando, I was headed to Puerto Vallarta and back to a Mexican beach city that I’ve grown to really enjoy. It’s insanely gay friendly, has a killer food scene and if you speak Spanish, the world is your oyster. The town is also full of muscular Latin guys who, in my experience, really enjoy getting pounded out. Some of the hottest fucks I’ve had have been in PV from guys who look like they’d be all alpha. There’s really nothing more sexy than a stacked muscle guy who can get on all-fours and take dick. It’s also surprisingly universal how pushing a guy’s mouth onto your dick is the same in any language. I’ll get into the details in the next edition, but this one was a trip for the record books. It ended up being a great trip, but started off kinda insane.
From the too-slutty-for-ASKfm Q&A bag, I was recently asked: How is a top able to keep fucking the bottom during his cumshot?
Understandably, it’s a tough circus trick to fuck through an orgasm and most tops usually just end up pulling out and jerking off. While a lot of it depends on how experienced the bottom is, there’s something to be said for learning to control your own orgasm. One of the many great things about condoms is that they serve as a natural desensitization tool, allowing guys to fuck for a lot longer than they ever could bareback. When fucking raw, it’s a whole different ball of wax. It’s the main reason I ended up buying a FleshJack, as it trains you to not only last longer, but also to work through the sensitivity of blowing a load while letting you fuck through it. In addition to Kegel exercises, adding something like a FleshJack can seriously improve your bedroom skills (it’s also fun to use WITH someone). With regular use, it gives you a very black & white line as to where your personal point-of-orgasm is, letting you edge more freely and work up to a better climax.
Bottom line, knowing your body and being comfortable with it is the key to having better sex.
If you’re not following me on Twitter, you should be. I post a lot of ridiculous shit, some of which you might enjoy and some of which might have you questioning my sanity. Either way, it’s entertaining and somehow I can’t seem to keep my clothes on for long…