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March 10, 2011

Self-Snapshot, 3/2011

After traveling the world for 8 years and having a chance at spending time with guys who have truly become as important to me as my own family, it’s becoming more clear to me that this lifestyle can’t last forever.  Good things, and in this case great things, are usually just temporary apparitions.  More importantly, as I approach my thirties, I really don’t want the jet-set life the way I did when I was in my early twenties.  Not because it’s not interesting and enjoyable, but because traveling 350k miles a year on airliners tends to wear one down after awhile.  Perhaps I’m just sharing this publicly because it’s been a relatively tough year for me so far on the cold/flu front.  It seemed early on that just as I was getting over one thing, I got knocked down with another.  A nice dose of Tamiflu, a change in my daily supplements and religious hand washing helped me immensely.

Back at my normal 110%, I’m booked solid for the next couple of months, but in the back of my mind I know my ‘retirement’ announcement comes soon.  Due to a great education and some nice offers from potential employers, the transition back into the real world thankfully won’t be too harsh:  I’ve invested wisely over the years, allowing myself more than enough time to dabble in a few things before really needing to make a stab at being a hard earner.  While I’ll eventually miss the routine I’ve gotten so used to, it will be nice to leave my bags unpacked for awhile, put away the passport and not have the San Antonio TSA folks greet me by name when they see me coming.  In general, it’ll just be nice to live more normally. Have more time with my dogs.  Start a project around my loft that I might actually finish.  Find a hobby that doesn’t involve mass amounts of email, FlyerTalk or airline clubs.  Find a group of friends that don’t know what reviews are or judge you based on how your abs or chest look that particular week.

I’ve also found in this line of industry, the guys who actually care about what they do, how they present themselves and what they offer as a reliable product are few and far-between…  That’s just depressing to me.. Sure, there’s a slew of hourly guys, all who serve their purpose while keeping the low-end of the machine going, but once you watch the rates pop up, there’s not necessarily a correlation in quality with it.  Case-in-point: I recently added a local third escort to a scene I was doing with a long term client of mine.  It was going to be a simple group, nothing crazy, everyone has fun, lots of sweat, some domination play.  In person, this add-on escort had the bravado of a Mac truck, immediately emptied the mini bar of vodka without asking and consequentially ended up being as limp-dicked as the Obama administration.  Thankfully, this guy wasn’t my choice.  It all ended up feeling so…  Wrong.  That’s the calling card of so many younger escorts now:  They talk a huge game, can’t deliver on much and aren’t worth anything near what they charge.  They think they can immediately get $300-350 an hour just because they’re young or hung.  What they really end up doing is quietly rating that down to a Craigslist worthy $150-200.  Most never have the talent or smarts to cross that hourly threshold into becoming a true high-end escort.

As for my own trajectory in this business, stay tuned.
I’m going out with a bang…  That you can be sure of.

The Hookie nominations are out and darned if Rentboy doesn’t continue to parade the same guys back and forth in hopes that they can still convince someone to attend this completely useless awards ceremony.  Back when I was a double-winner at The Hookies, I scandalized the event by not showing up (as these things are not my idea of fun).  When the promoters figured out I wasn’t going to show, they quickly rearranged the main award (for ‘Best Escort’), gave it to my runner-up and left me with ‘Best Blogger.’  I got this piece of info direct from Rentboy management at the time.  I wasn’t shocked and frankly didn’t care WHO won, but found it funny that they made such a big deal about it.  As with most awards out there, The Hookies are also rigged beyond belief…  I’m sure you’re shocked knowing this. It’s less like finding out Santa isn’t real and more like finding out he’s selling meth out of his late-model Toyota in the back of the Macy’s parking lot.

For those who speak Seinfeld, what’s the deal with the new crop of anonymous escort blog popping up?  It’s like every hourly hooker who has a bone to pick is pecking at his keyboard in hopes of some very public therapy.  I’ve read a few of them and for the most part, aside from being incredibly depressing and wallowing in the dregs of this business, they serve little to no purpose.  The point of a blog is to entertain, especially when you’re in an industry that requires an ‘on’ personality.  When guys use blogs to just pointlessly moan, it’s boring, repetitive and ultimately a turn-off.  If you’re a good looking, young escort, it’s akin to taking a lovely bowl of Lucky Charms (or any favorite cereal of your choice) and dousing it with urine.

Now, some of my more kinky readers might think that’s quite nice, but let me tell you:  Piss and bite-sized marshmallow morsels do not go together well. Trust me.

Remember escorts, anytime you’re making a public statement, you’re selling yourself.  Clients don’t want to hear about how little money you make, your cancellations, your other clients, your lack of a relationship, etc.  They want some assurance through your communication that you’re not a member of the Manson family, that you have something to offer, can form complete sentences and won’t vote for Sarah Palin in 2012.


On the theatre front, I caught the 2nd National Tour of Wicked in San Antonio a couple of weeks ago (for those who really care, it’s the cast with Anne Brummell as Elphaba).  It was absolutely terrible, as the producers of the show have now really cut into the set, costumes and orchestra to cut down on touring costs.  Basically, it’s what you get with a secondary company and the cast wasn’t much better.  The leads has no personality.  The singing was on-key, but lacking any dynamic.  It was the most underwhelming version of Wicked I’ve ever seen.

The one saving grace of hosting the craptactular cast of Wicked in town is that almost immediately afterward we’re getting the First National Tour of West Side Story, which has been getting amazing reviews.  After having seen the original revival Broadway cast a couple of years ago, I’m really looking forward to this touring cast.  Such amazing music.


This edition now comes to a close, to which I say thank you for your continued readership.  Look for some new, slightly scandalous and sexy stories on the way thanks to a trip to Houston on the horizon (and a trip or two to their hot new bath, The Club Houston).  I haven’t yet gotten to Steamworks in Chicago for a 2011 visit yet, but I can feel it coming.  For now, the humid, sunny and oft shirtless/speedo’d confines of Key West will have to suffice.  I’ll also have a travel update go online for those wanting to keep up with the various pride cities I’ll head to.

Adios amigos. Make sure to wear a bit o’ the green this month.  I usually prefer wearing just a little less…