June 1st, 2008
Contrary to popular belief, the Karen Carpenter diet DOES work… And it can work for you too. Here’s the secret to the sauce:
* A healthy packet of Splenda for breakfast
* A sensible cube of cheese for lunch
* A shot of Maker’s Mark for dinner
And, as per Oprah’s rule, no vomiting after 8pm.
*I kid, I kid*
So, with spending most of my time lately between an oil ranch in Texas and enjoying what appears to be a pretty mild springtime in London, I’ve totally let 15mm gather dust. While a little age on a bottle of merlot might be a good thing, something tells me that my past sarcasm doesn’t exactly suit the same. I promise to get a new edition up in the very near future, right after I catch up on the DVR’d two-hour premier of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ and find good cosmetic dentist for AI runner-up, David Archuletta.
Shit, you’d think with his $100k winnings from Star Search he’d have the good sense to get that grill fixed. I don’t know whether to hand him a mic or an industrial-strength nail file.
I’d like to eventually get onto a daily blogging schedule that allows for shorter bursts of wordplay. While I like longer-form writing, it’s a little daunting to save up all of these things to talk about in one massive post. I think it would be easier if I could just post something when the mood strikes rather than write it down, try to remember exactly what kind of smartass remark I was going to make and then make it flow into the rest of the blog. We’ll see. Keep an eye out for that.
Spending the weekend in Chicago… Say ‘allo if you happen to see me out and about. I plan on TWITTERing as much as possible, as I’ve let that go a little as well. Gotta keep the stalkers happy, y’know.
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