July 15th, 2018
Just back from a week in Mexico, having spent some time at a villa in the uppermost part of Conchas Chinas (Puerto Vallarta). It’s rare that I walk into a home and have my jaw drop, but this was 15k sq feet, spread out over five floors. Infinity pool. Full staff. Private gym. The works. It was really setup as a bubble you could just stay within, but the intrepid traveler in me was going to get out and explore.
… And by intrepid traveler, I really mean oversexed, muscular exhibitionist alpha.
Vallarta is considered one of the most gay-friendly destinations in Mexico and even in the summertime, it’s packed with sexy guys from all over the world. It’s crazy humid (a lot like Key West) and hot, but that actually seems to work for the social environment. It’s very much a clothing-optional, freewheeling beach town with a good tolerance for GLBT. Granted, it’s still Mexico, so you’ll want to use your head about hooking up with locals and where you’re at in the city. That said, I have never felt unsafe in the many times I’ve visited (but I also speak Spanish and am a big guy). As with anyplace you’re not familiar with, always use your best judgement.
Blue Chairs is older, more relaxed and the staff is just perfectly friendly. A little flirty. Always cracking jokes. Very genuine. The chairs are on the sand and they are covered with individual thatch palapas. It’s exactly what you’d imagine a Mexican beach day should be. The crowd skews a little older, but everyone is friendly, flirty and definitely open to conversation.
Mantamar is new(ish) and Vallarta’s attempt at a gay Las Vegas day-beachclub. It’s attached to a GLBT hotel as well. It’s a nice mix of ages, but it’s definitely a louder, more party experience. While you can rent a beach chair, the real action is around the pool which is set back from the ocean. Cabanas and gazebos surround it on dual-levels. Lots of real estate. The pool itself could use a chiller on it: It’s not refreshing at all. There’s thankfully a nice amount of shade when in the water, so you can opt for a little sunshine and then retreat to give yourself a break.
Both beach clubs have good menus, full bars and waiter service. It’s nearly impossible to go hungry or dry at these places… They make sure of it.
Do be prepared to say no, gracias a lot to the onslaught of beach vendors, all looking to sell their wares. It’s like Portabello Road, only on sand and in Spanish. Don’t be alarmed when several vendors ask you if you’re looking for weed, pills, cocaine or worse. Just stick to no, gracias and you’ll be fine.
Uber was a breeze. The cars are on the smaller side, but the AC was cold and at least half of the drivers spoke decent English. If you can speak to them in Spanish, I’d highly recommend it. Like most places in the world that aren’t totally Westernized, if you make an attempt to speak someone else’s language, you’re almost always met with respect and a smile for doing so. I never forget that part of being a good traveler is being a good human being.
While other parts of Mexico can feel somewhat buttoned-up, Vallarta is definitely an openminded, more exhibitionistic place. It’s not uncommon to see guys in only sneakers and very small swimwear walking down the street. The combination of the summer humidity and it being a gay-friendly atmosphere make for very good people watching. It didn’t take me more than five minutes to get back into the swing of things: With SPF 70 on, I was able to safely walk around La Zona Romantica in just a snug pair of vintage OP shorts and some Nike sneakers. It made for some fun cruising… A real throwback to before Grindr completely fucked up the gay community’s ability to have interesting in-person interaction.
There’s a gay bath (Spartacus) that looks pretty awesome- indoor/outdoor, 5 floors, nicely designed- but I didn’t get around to hitting it on this last visit.
While I did have a fun fuck session with a muscled-lean, 20-something Mexican guy, the truly memorable night involved going to take a piss at CC Slaughter’s (a gay dance club) and getting lured into a dark corner by a couple from Australia. With a full view of the dance floor, these guys found just enough privacy to get on their knees, pull out my dick and go to work. It was great head made better by how turned on I was by getting blown in public. I’d like to say I lasted long enough to make their jaws sore, but I’d be lying: I was so primed to bust a load, as I had been edging earlier that night. Five minutes later, huge shot. Like any good cocksuckers, they swallowed as much of it as they could catch.
And like any guy who just got great head in a dark bar, I ordered a G&T from the bartender and continued on with my night. That one definitely checked off a box for me. Viva Mexico!
I enjoyed myself so much on this last visit to Vallarta that I’m scheduled to go back in August. Will definitely have some additional info on Spartacus, as well as any other trouble I can seem to get myself into. I’m also heading back to Houston, Vegas, NYC and London in the next month.
Briefly mentioned the trip I took to Fire Island Pines last month in the last edition of 15MM: While the house I was at was perfect (peaceful and relaxing), leaving that bubble and going into the town became almost stressful. Fire Island itself is beautiful. Wonderfully undeveloped and a small collection of beautiful homes and local businesses. It’s the visitors to the island that made it problematic. Simply put, it’s a lot of young, semi-broke, beautiful guys from the city who can’t seem to put away the immense bullshit of Manhattan gay hierarchy. It felt unwelcoming, immature and incredibly cliquish. I also saw a ton of drug use- an immediate turn-off for me. After a few days, I ended up spending most of my time at the house with a quick daily trip to the gym and back. I was thankfully with a group of people I enjoy traveling with, so that made things a lot more fun: They too (a mix of gay and straight) felt the general tension of these guys trying so hard to ‘be beautiful,’ when they really should have just relaxed and lightened up.
It sorta reminded me of the way Miamians can act the first time they visit Key West: They still think they’re in the big city and don’t alter their behavior to suit the laid-back Conchs. Sadly, they end up coming off like assholes, which is why many KW’ers don’t have great things to say about them. Fire Island’s locals seemed to be awesome (smiley, conversational). It was the guys who weren’t homeowners that seemed to be kinda schmucky. Perhaps I need to revisit during a shoulder season and see if it’s any more laid back.
Wrapping this edition up with some new pics. Clean eating and an adjusted summertime workout schedule has me lean (6’3” 205 lbs 7% bodyfat). It was no coincidence that I shaved my head to complete the new look. I like it. It’s easy to deal with and I’ve had a ton of emails saying they like this alpha-muscle-marine look. You can see a whole bunch of new uploads on my photo gallery, linked HERE. From my travels to candid shots, this is where I keep most of my images, from way-back-when to just-taken-yesterday. Enjoy!
Posted in Update!